My Stay-At-Home Mum Fail

Stay-At-Home Mum Fail.jpg

Bear with me on this blog post. I’m typing mostly one-handed, for reasons I’ll explain soon, so spelling mistakes are likely.

I was hoping to write a blog post sharing all the successes I’ve experienced in my first two weeks as a stay-at-home mum. I was supposed to be telling you how SB has learned how to count to 100 in three different languages and can write her name with impeccable handwriting (well, maybe not, but I was hoping to at least have taught her something), how we’d followed Pinterest craft instructions to the letter and come out with some mini masterpieces, we’ve been on lots of cultural days out and eaten wholesome, fulfilling meals together.

Maybe I was a little ambitious.

SB has learned new things. She can name lots of Pokemon characters now, because it’s pretty much all she’s watched for the last two weeks. She’s also started an illustrious career as a hairdresser by brushing my hair whenever I allow her to (I don’t mind it, but she whacks me on the head with the hairbrush if I don’t sit still enough).

Cultural days out? We’ve visited the library, once. Because it had air conditioning on the hottest day of the year so far.

As for wholesome meals… well, she’s eaten plenty of jam sandwiches, and jam is technically fruit, right?

A grand total of zero craft activities have been attempted.

In short, I am pretty sure I’m failing as a stay-at-home mum.

I have mitigating circumstances. A sharp brake in the car over the weekend resulted in a trip to A&E, x-rays, my arm in a sling and my shoulder trying to decide whether or not to stay in its socket.

Also, I’m new at all of this.

That’s the excuse I’m using, anyway.

So far, since I have been at home with her, she has muttered “Oh my God” more time than I can count, told me her “arse” hurts today and I’m pretty sure I heard her say “oh shit” when she tripped over something yesterday. So at least her vocabulary is expanding in my care.

But look at this kid.


She’s happy. She’s watched a lifetime’s worth of Pokemon episodes in the space of two weeks and can pretty much recite “How To Train Your Dragon” word for word. She gets biscuits because I need to give her snacks that don’t need any preparation. She gets to make as much mess on the living room floor as she wants. She’s living every two year old’s dream life, really.

So am I really failing that much? (Well… yes. Yes, I am. But the point I’m making is that I don’t care). 



20 thoughts on “My Stay-At-Home Mum Fail

  1. happywawa15 says:

    I alternate between cheese on toast, cheese sandwiches or just sticks of cheese. My son isn’t allowed jam because I eat it all myself, sneakily hiding behind the kitchen door like some sort of jam troll. Iggle Piggle and Teletubbies rule the house. I’ve grown to love them and marvel at the ingenuity of their creators.

    Your daughter looks pretty happy! 😀


  2. twotinyhands says:

    She will remember mummy being there more than the stuff you teach her. Well we’d hope she would remember the stuff you teach her but what I mean it doesn’t matter does it as long as she’s happy! Thanks for linking up to #familyfun!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. tammymum says:

    Ha I love this. I fail day in day out and I fear today I epically failed. But hey I don’t really care either, not that much anyway… And tomorrows a new day. So here’s to a mum fail. Ps I hope your shoulder is ok xx thanks for joining us again at #familyfun. I hope you can come back next week xx


  4. Savannah (@HowHesRaised) says:

    You sound like me, and I’ve been at this stay at home mom thing for the past 17 months!! It’s so easy to want to be that “ideal parent” who raises insanely smart, well-rounded kids with a spotless house and flawless makeup. But the truth is, that’s not reality.
    And, that little smile says you just may be a successful SAHM after all ❤ #KCACOLS


  5. Twin Pickle says:

    One happy girl… happy to be home with mommy 🙂 Keep up the good work mama – a craft can be a simple as helping her make her own jam sandwich! PS I think my daughter may be watching pokemon as I write this.


  6. min1980 says:

    It sounds like you’ve done pretty well considering! And as you say, she’s happy so that’s all that matters. Hope your arm is better soon and the SAHM thing gets easier. #eatsleepblogRT


  7. winnettes says:

    Sounds like my stay at home life but I’ve been doing it for months now and still haven’t attempted any crafts. Also days out a few and far between…. My try too hard when the play park is around the corner. Don’t beat yourself up about it. She’s happy! You can help her with her homework when school starts. No need to stress now.


  8. mummyhereandthere says:

    Pretty much some up my days bar the cribbing anxiety I am a failure. It is refreshing to hear someone accept and be real. Although to be fair you have got a arm in a sling, me my excuse just lazyitous. Plus, I can not even pronouch half of the Pokemon Characters so that is pretty impressive in my book. Oh my son alternaties between honey and marmite sandwiches! X #kcacols


  9. Kerry says:

    If they’re happy and healthy then you can’t be doing to much wrong! I’m guilty on relying on too many Disney films to keep mine entertained when we’re at home, that and marmite crackers! Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again on Sunday 2nd Oct x


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