Somehow, it’s been a whole year since I finished university and got my results. A year since I published my triumphant blog post when I had the confirmation of my grades, and a year since I put my notepad and pen down and entered the Real World (because, let’s face it, Student World is very different to the Real World).
It’s hard to believe it’s been a year, and yet at times it feels like I’ve been adult-ing for much more than twelve months. I don’t think I’m doing too badly at it, although I definitely have moments where I want someone else to adult for me so I can hide in a pillow fort and watch Disney films.
It’s been a reality shock; going into the big wide world with a toddler in tow, but it’s almost refreshing. I miss my university friends, and I miss seeing them every day, but I like work. I like not having the pressure of looming deadlines, or exhausting warm-ups and rehearsals into the night. I miss it, but in a lot of ways, I don’t.
Which is why it may surprise you to know that I’m going back to it – sort of. No lectures or rehearsals, and no student life – but back to the essays and the deadlines, and more of my already-fleeting spare time taken up with studying. In October, I start an Open University course in health sciences – the first of (hopefully) many steps towards a career in the ambulance service.
Is it daunting? Hell yeah. Is it exciting? Hell friggin YES. This is me making positive steps towards the career I want; it’s a chance to write essays again
yes I’m that saddo who loves writing essays, it’s something I can throw myself into and be proud of. The two moments in my life where I’ve been proudest are 1) giving birth to SB and 2) getting my degree results. With another baby not on the horizon right now, going back to studying seems like the obvious route.
Of course, if it starts to interfere with my time with SB, I won’t hesitate to put a stop to it. I don’t want to half-arse it or just scrape by.
I’m nervous and anxious and filled with doubts and “what if”s – but all I’m going to do is remember the pride when I got my degree results, and focus on making my little girl proud.
I was supposed to be doing my MA this September, but plans change. I’d still like to do a Masters in Drama some day, but right now isn’t the right time – it’s time to put my career first right now.
So prepare for more angst-filled posts about deadlines and panicking about grades, because I’m going to be a student parent again – and I can’t wait.