Sometimes My Heart Melts

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Sometimes, SB drives me absolutely crazy.

Sometimes she refuses to eat her food because “It’s ‘ot” (“hot” to you and me). I’m not talking about food that really is hot. I’m talking about ice cream and cereal. She’ll refuse to eat it, and insist that it’s “ot”.

Sometimes she tips all of the bricks out of the bucket, or all of the fruit out of her shopping basket, just because she can. If we ask her to pick them back up, she laughs and shakes her head.

Sometimes she drags me off the sofa time and time again. Once I’m standing up, I say “What do you want to do?” and she shrugs. I go back to the sofa, and the whole rigmarole starts all over again.

Sometimes we can’t do anything right. Teddw Bear, food, sleep, nappy change, toys, Elsa, drink – nothing is enough to make her happy. Every failed attempt makes the intensity of her screams increase.

Sometimes she screams in public, and I think it’s just for the fun of it. There’s nothing really wrong – she just likes letting people assume we’re horrible parents, mistreating this sweet little screeching banshee toddler.

Sometimes she throws herself on the floor in the supermarket and screams the place down because we won’t let her go and sniff every single candle on every single shelf. 

Sometimes she colours on things she shouldn’t, or she reads books too quickly and folds the pages. Sometimes she even rips things – by accident, or for fun.

Sometimes I think “What am I doing wrong? Where have I gone wrong with this child? Is this because I am a bad parent?”.

And then sometimes, she wakes up from her nap, comes to lie with me on the sofa, and we sleep for another half an hour. She wakes me up with a kiss, strokes my face, says “I love mummy”. She brings me Teddw Bear and her blanket and “tucks me in”.

Sometimes, she reminds me that the screaming, tantrumming, food-refusing, book-ripping demon child is only half the picture. The other half is a beautiful, bright, vibrant, gorgeous, caring, generous, funny little girl. The combination is 100% our daughter, and 100% perfect.

Sometimes, my heart just melts.

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