“Who I Was”: The Speed Bump extract #3

Here’s another extract from my  book, “The Speed Bump”. This is all about who I was before I got pregnant… and let’s just say, I wasn’t the nicest of people…

who i was

There are certain types of people who you don’t expect to do certain things. Take becoming a young parent, for example. If you live in the UK and are over a certain age, you’ve probably seen the programme ‘Little Britain’, which parodies a young parent in the form of Vicky Pollard; a tracksuit-clad chav with several children, no father on the scene, smoking and drinking and speaking unintelligibly. It’s an extreme parody, but it is representative of how many people feel about young parents.

A few years ago, I felt the same. I was quite vocal about my feelings on young mums – I subscribed to the whole “they’re doing it for a free council house” belief, and was adamant that the sort of people who get pregnant at a young were a different ‘sort’ of teenager. They were the no-hopers – they lacked drive and ambition. They didn’t have the skills to do things like go to university and get good jobs; they just weren’t intelligent enough. They had babies so that they could stay at home and claim benefits and child maintenance, and use their kids as accessories.

I, on the other hand, was a different sort of person. I’ll go ahead and admit it – I thought I was a better person. I thought I was better than the girls who get pregnant in their teens and early twenties. I was ambitious and smart – I’d just finished the first year of a degree, with an overall 2:1. I had a great group of friends, a happy social life, and I was succeeding. I had ambition; I knew what I wanted to do with my life, and I didn’t have time for obstacles like a baby. I’d been with my boyfriend for two and a half years, and although we knew we wanted children one day, that ‘one day’ was years and years and years away. We had a lot to achieve first.

Obviously, I was also a bit of a twat. Cocky and self-assured, with a definite air of undeserved superiority, I definitely thought I was better than young parents, and I wasn’t quiet about it. I’d get involved in twitter debates, I’d post on forums – I even wrote blog posts on previous opinion blogs which, thankfully, no-one ever read condemning young parents, blasting them as stupid and irresponsible and congratulating myself on obviously being a more superior human being.

I look back on all of that now, and I cringe. I wish someone had come along, slapped me in the chops and told me that I’m no different to the girls who became young mothers – just like them, I was only one mistake away from being a young mum too.

I’d probably have laughed in their face though, the smug little shit that I was. After all, I was clued up on contraception. I knew what all the different types were, and I was going through different Pill types, trying to work out which one would be best for us. I’d originally been on Microgynon, but it had killed my sex drive and made me severely depressed, so I’d changed to the mini-Pill, Cerazette. It had started fine, but I’d begun noticing a few issues – it was making me feel quite sick, my sex drive was starting to wane, and my normally-clear skin was coming out in spots. So, I stopped taking Cerazette, started using condoms, and planned to head back to the GPs to see what other options were available.

So it might seem pretty hard to see how I, this smart, ambitious girl with good knowledge of contraception and no desire to have a baby any time soon, could possibly have become pregnant at the age of nineteen. In fact, it’s quite simple. You see, for an intelligent, ambitious young woman, I have frequent moments where I am a complete and utter plank. My boyfriend, Daf, is very similar – he is clever and mature and responsible, but sometimes, his common sense flies out of the window.

Normally, this isn’t too big an issue – if one of us is having a Plank Day, the other will keep them on the straight and narrow, and remind them to be sensible.

Unfortunately, on one particular day in early August, the stars collided, and we were both as reckless and stupid as each other. Just once wouldn’t hurt, we figured. People try for years to get pregnant. What are the chances that if we just do it without a condom, just this once, that anything will happen? Practically zero, right?

Yeah. Right.

From accidental conceptions to bum injections; you can read all about what to really expect when you’re unexpectedly expecting in my book; The Speed Bump, available here.

Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
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28 thoughts on ““Who I Was”: The Speed Bump extract #3

  1. sarah says:

    Love the honesty and the way you write! I think in my early 20’s I sadly thought a lot of the same things…thankful I’ve made enough of my own mistakes now to stop judging other people! This did give me a laugh! #FabFridayPost

    Like

  2. Chloe says:

    hahaha I love this post and our similarities. I was always quick to jump to conclusions too about young mums and I so regret it and take it back now. Being a parent is so, so hard and our daughter was unexpected and a complete eye opener. Now if I see a young mum I have so much respect because it’s no easy job bringing up children. xx #love2blog

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jenna says:

    Firstly, I cannot wait to read your book!! 🙂

    I think we are all guilty of some preconceptions, especially when we are in our late teens/early twenties (when we think we know everything).

    I cringe when I think about some of the things I used to think were true. I was a bit of a dick. Still am, sometimes. 🙂

    Like

  4. Polly Williams says:

    Hehe this post made me chuckle so much, I was totally that girl who used to want a good career and spend all her money on shoes, socialising and Vogue magazines. Having kiddies sure does change your outlook on life, now I couldn’t care about the blooming Vogue and buy my shoes in Tesco on the weekly shop 😉 xx

    Like

  5. Janine says:

    We were one of the lucky people to get pregnant first time trying with the 2 pregnancies but yeah you’re right. There’s always a chance that one time is the one you do get pregnant. Now I know you more than likely have to meet those 4 days you are most fertile. We are as silly though regarding the no condom bit and I don’t want any more children.

    Like

  6. steph_baybee says:

    It’s funny how we look back on ourselves isn’t it, I was a young Mum at 19. However a planned baby in a wonderful relationship, supporting ourselves and that baby is now 11yrs old and all is still good. We got pregnant straight away and even though we were trying I was still shocked!

    Like

  7. ethannevelyn.com says:

    Lol! I love how honest you are. I was also that girl. I take it all back too. Can’t wait to read your book. I have a feeling it is going to be a hit! 😊 Thank you so much for linking up with me. #FabFridayPost x

    Like

  8. rightroyalmother says:

    Brill post – we do do reckless things sometimes and that’s what life’s all about I reckon. How did the book go?! #KCACOLS

    Like

  9. Squirmy Popple says:

    All it takes is one time! I have to admit that I’ve judged young mums too, which is stupid, because you have no idea what that person’s story is. Maybe they wanted to have a baby that young. Maybe it was a surprise and they’re doing their best with it. Either way, it’s not mine (or anyone else’s) business. #KCACOLS

    Like

  10. rachelbustin (@RachelBustin) says:

    I used to love Little Britain. You are right though everyone thinks young people get pregnant for a council house its just the way it is altough it shouldn’t be. I was on the pill for 5 years while we were saving up for a house. Then we started trying and 3 years later we finally got our baby at age 33!

    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

    Rachel x

    Like

  11. Picking Up Toys says:

    You sound so similar to me!I was never going to be like my Mum and do it all too young.I was going to have it all and see the world but guess who got pregnant at 19?Best bit was we worked out it happened Bonfire night.Fireworks be buggered 😀 x #kcacols

    Like

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