Portrait of a Mummy Blogger

portrait of a

Ah, the good old phrase ‘Mummy Blogger’. Once upon a time, I rejected it because – let’s face it – it sounds naff. These days, I’m more inclined to embrace the term. After all, SB calls me ‘mommy’, and I blog. That pretty much makes me a mummy blogger, right?

Before I embraced my title, I had a pretty firm idea in my head of what a Mummy Blogger looked like. She is usually blonde – not bright blonde, but a sort of caramel-blonde with natural-looking highlights – and her hair is always immaculate, thanks to the endless stream of products (all of which have been reviewed on her blog), and a regular trip to a high-end salon. She is an expert in skincare and make-up application, and has a video blogging channel dedicated to routine videos and ‘how-to’s.

Of course, she owns a DSLR (rather than borrowing her boyfriend’s at every opportunity… sorry D!), and her children never wear an outfit that is not photographed and suitably hashtagged with #ootd. Speaking of outfits, everything is co-ordinated and planned out in advance, and there is never a pyjama day in her household – unless the kids are all in colour co-ordinated, Instagram-ready PJs, of course!

For dinner, they eat tortellini wraps and hummous (I have no idea if that’s even a thing, but it’s definitely what Mummy Blogger and her children eat), and the recipe will soon be available on her blog, along with the fact that her children couldn’t get enough of it. Then the children settle down to play quietly with their Melissa & Doug wooden toys, while Mummy Blogger sits at her tidy desk and types out a blog post, connects to a few linkies, responds to a few PR requests and then pins some interesting new recipes on Pinterest.

She may even glance at the Boden website, to see the new season’s pieces, but she knows she will settle for the Mummy Blogger uniform – Breton top, waterfall cardigan, bootcut jeans and ankle boots. That is the portrait of a Mummy Blogger.

Or so I thought – until I realised that I too am a Mummy Blogger, and I’m as far removed from that as you can get.

Most of this post was written as I lounged on the sofa in a pair of jogging bottoms and an oversized baseball t-shirt, while I stuck a video of a ten-hour loop of ‘Let It Go’ from Frozen on the TV to keep SB quiet, with hair that definitely needs dyeing forced into the scruffiest excuse for bunches you’ve ever seen. I made Dairylea sandwiches for her lunch, and she had fish fingers and Heinz hoops for dinner – not exactly tortellini wraps, is it? – and she’d rather play with the Xbox controller and my phone than wooden toys.

So my preconceptions of what a Mummy Blogger is like were wrong. I mean, there may be Mummy Bloggers out there whoΒ areΒ like that, but that’s fine – there’s no problem with being that kind of person. Still, it’s nice to remember that there’s so much variety in the world of parenting bloggers – some are mums, some are dads, some are crunchy, attachment-parenting, baby-led-weaning, Boden-wearing, make-up-expert parent bloggers, and others are formula-feeding, no-parenting-style, zero-make-up-skills, student parent bloggers, and there’s a thousand other types of parent in between, all of whom are sharing their journey (yuck, sorry about the X Factor cliche) with the world through their blogs. Life would be boring if we were all the same.

So next time you’re reading a Mummy Blog, or looking at someone’s Instagram-perfect pictures, and you feel like you just can’t relate, don’t despair. Chances are, that Mummy Blogger’s kids tried to tear each other apart once they’d finished posing for that cute picture together, and their pristine outfits are covered in jam and cheese and mud by the end of each day too – some Mummy Bloggers may appear perfect, but at the end of the day, their kids are still kids!

That’s the important thing, I think – as long as the kids are looked after and loved, who cares whether the pictures on the blog come from a brand new SLR or a crappy Blackberry phone camera (sorry Blackberry, but the cameras are terrible)? If you read Mummy Blogs, chances are you just like reading about other people’s adventures in parenting, and how they handle issues all parents will face. Everything else is just a matter of opinion.

My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows

17 thoughts on “Portrait of a Mummy Blogger

  1. Mrs Tubbs says:

    I suspect that they’re all secretly wearing PJs and wondering if jam sandwiches for lunch count as a fruit portion, but just never admit it otherwise their entire persona is ruined! #fartsglitter

    Like

    • The Speed Bump says:

      That’s me pretty much every day! I shared a strawberry cheesecake with SB earlier and asked myself whether it counted as one of her five-a-day! Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  2. Karen Howden says:

    I think we all have alot in common – we’re all going through this fantastically exhausting journey of parenthood together but at the same time we all are different! Those differences are what make us special to our kids and make our blogs unique!

    Like

  3. Mama says:

    Preach! I couldn’t even draw a glamorous cartoon image of myself for my ‘headshot’ so I definitely don’t fall into that first category. How boring would blogging be if we did?
    Thanks so much for linking up with #fartglitter. Hope to see you next week x

    Like

  4. Kirsten Toyne says:

    I had never thought about this. In fact I became a blogger before I knew what a mummy blogger was. I am none of those things, although I have always fancied being blonde for a while anyway!! Kirsten

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  5. Jenna says:

    I find those ‘perfect-life’ types a bit boring to be honest. πŸ˜‰ I much prefer reading posts of people who are like me. People whose posts I can relate to. Like you! πŸ™‚

    Brilliant post.

    #MummyMonday

    Like

  6. dearmummyblog says:

    Hahaha! I love this! My mummy is about as far removed to the ‘ideal mummy blogger’ too! She’s a gothic, metal-head with chipped nails and a passion for Frozen and frozen fish fingers! #mummymonday πŸ˜‰

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  7. min1980 says:

    Haha! Totes true. For me the image of a mummy blogger is always a married woman, early 30s with a Breton top and an interest in crafting, sharing professional-looking pictures of well behaved children and soppy anecdotes about her husband. Although I do own a Breton top, I keep it locked away for secret mummy blogging assignments when I go undercover and pretend to be the imaginary person I just described. In real life I am a single parent with a love life that’s been dead and buried for years, a child who likes throwing food and a wardrobe from American Apparel. And I’ve never crafted anything in my life.

    Like

    • The Speed Bump says:

      I also own one Breton top! That’s where the similarities end for me too – an unmarried young mum of a crazed toddler and a wardrobe full of band t-shirts, football shirts and geeky sweaters! Thanks for stopping by x

      Like

  8. Laura @ Life with Baby Kicks says:

    I had a conversation with someone about this yesterday, in Dubai a lot of the parent bloggers are beauty/fashion bloggers as well. Their blogs are beautiful. They are beautiful. I have eyebrows in need of plucking and sick on my leg….

    I love the differences and think this is what should be celebrated! #fartglitter

    Like

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