Tales from the front line of weaning…

A few thoughts about weaning this week.

Oh my god. It is so messy. I had visions of my baby, clad in a pretty pink bib, daintily taking puree from her lovely Winnie the Pooh weaning spoons, in her immaculate high chair. Oh, how naive I was. Instead, every time we’ve tried to feed her, we’ve ended up with pictures like these –


As you can see, porridge and carrot are both big favourites here. In fact, she loves them so much, she wants to share them with her clothes, my clothes, my hair, her hair, the sofa, the carpet and every other stainable surface in the flat.

Another weaning revelation: I do not have time to make home-made weaning foods. I keep going into the baby food aisle in the supermarket, thinking I’ll get a couple of pouches of Ella’s Kitchen or a couple of boxes of porridge, just to keep us going until I get time to make our purees. We have a blender. We have the ingredients. Do you think I’ve managed to make a single set of purees? Of course not!

I had visions of myself as this ‘supermum’ figure who can go to uni, write a dissertation, keep a tidy home, feed her daughter only the best organic homemade purees and never looks tired. As it is, I’m going to uni and writing a dissertation… and that’s where it stops. The flat is anything but tidy, SB eats only Ella’s Kitchen (it’s organic, if that wins me any brownie points?) and ‘tired’ is my permanent state these days. We barely have time to make anything for ourselves other than fish fingers and pasta, so how we’re supposed to make these purees is beyond me.

So if you came here looking for weaning tips, you’ll be disappointed. If you came here at your wit’s end, with porridge and carrot puree in your hair and a healthy sprinkling of guilt for the fact that you’re feeding your child all these ‘nasty’ processed purees rather than letting them discover the exciting world with their own hands in Baby Led Weaning (finger foods to you and I), you’ll find an ally.

If I was to write a parenting book, the chapter titled ‘Weaning’ would simply read like this.

AAAAAARGH shit shit shit it’s on the carpet it’s going to stain oh god that’s a new outfit HOW DID IT GET UNDER THE BIB? crap crap crap it’s all in my hair, how the fuck do you get carrot in your eyebrows? fuck off annabel karmel no no no don’t grab the spoon nooooo don’t grab the bowl oh my god it’s food not face paint AAAAARGH

Can I get an ‘amen’?


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