…. can’t go fast enough.
Everyone warned me it’d happen, and at the time, 30 weeks seemed like so far away, I didn’t really pay much attention.
But I am nearly 31 weeks, and I am fed up of being pregnant.
Sat on the maternity ward the other day, in agony, with women around me all in the early stages of induced labour, and all I could do was sit and cry about how unfair it was that they were getting to hold their babies and not be pregnant anymore, and I still have another 9 weeks to go.
I can’t quite imagine now that I’ll miss my bump when it’s gone. I like talking to it and knowing it’s there, but I don’t like the strain it’s putting on my body. I don’t like the fact that I have another 9 weeks of growing to do, and my scar and the muscles behind it are already at breaking point (hence the stay in hospital). I don’t like the fact that my knees can barely support my body.
I am quite impressed though. Since my 10 week appointment, I’ve only gained 4kilos – so I’m only 4 kilos heavier than I was pre-pregnancy, and with any luck I’ll be able to drop those and then some after the baby arrives. I’m hoping that a combination of breastfeeding, walking around at all hours of the night trying to shush a crying baby and walking a pram everywhere might help with that.
Seriously though – THIS is the sort of thing they need to be teaching in sex ed! I know I sound preachy etc, but I’ve not heard of any sex ed lessons where they teach you the very real consequences of pregnancy at any age. Your knees will give in, your boobs will leak, you will have to wear stretchy (but very, very comfy) jeans, your muscles will want to kill you, stretching and round ligament pains HURT, Braxton Hicks are uncomfortable, strangers will become very well acquainted with your reproductive system, you won’t sleep much at all, you’ll hurt a lot, the toilet will be your worst enemy on some days and your best friend on others (trust me, you won’t be able to leave it!) and you will, invariably, gain weight.
Not “you’ll struggle for money and your boyfriend might leave you but then you’ll get a baby at the end of it but you’re too young to look after it so don’t have sex ok?”. Promoting abstinence isn’t going to work, and there will always be accidents – they happen, and shaming people for them does no good either. What should be done is to tell people the hard truth about pregnancy – not just girls, the guys need to know too. They’ll have to do pretty much everything around the house towards the end if pregnancy doesn’t agree with the girl; sex will become non-existent, babies cost A LOT of money and also a lot of your social life. You will be screamed at, blamed for everything and then she will hug you and grip onto your arm hysterically while crying and apologising and demanding chocolate at the same time, and no matter how many times you tell her it’s ok, she will still feel guilty.
I’m just holding on tightly here to the comforting notion that it’ll all be worth it in ten weeks time, when we have our baby – who, on a much happier note, now has a full name whether it is a he or a she! We finally sat down and finalized a name for a boy and a name for a girl. In hindsight I’m so glad we’ve left it as a surprise, and I think D is too. It’s keeping me going, wondering what we’re having and looking forward to that surprise – and if all goes to plan, it’ll be D who tells me whether we’ve got a son or a daughter. It’s something I’ve put in the birth plan, as when it comes to most other things – like habits, kicks, music it likes and dislikes, times it’s awake and times it’s asleep – I’ve been the one to learn those first. This is the thing that D gets to know about his child first, before me, before anyone but maybe the doctors if they catch a glimpse.
Things could be better right now, but they could be a lot worse.