Becoming Buddha

SB is at that stage where the bump is big enough that people feel they can touch it. At first I thought I’d be creeped out by it, but I’m really not – everyone so far has asked, and when I was telling them about it moving, even agreed with me that it’s less ‘magical’ and more ‘freaky’. I do feel like buddha though – I know how those statues must feel now!

I like the kicks – I love feeling my baby kick. At first I wasn’t so sure, but now it’s comforting, and quite funny too to see what gets it going. Fizzy drink gives it the hiccups, which is one of the cutest feelings I’ve ever felt – but the baby is so big now that when it shifts around, I can feel it, both with my hands and also without – I can literally just feel it wriggling around in the bump – and that is so surreal. Watching the skin ripple and move is odd, to say the least – probably not what I’d call magical.

I’m starting to get excited to meet the baby, actually. I thought I’d be getting nervous and I’m still not – but it’s not like I’m living in any kind of fantasy bubble. I’m well aware that the baby will have to come out soon, and it’s going to hurt more than I can even imagine – it’s just that I feel like, well, what’s the point in dreading it? It’s going to happen anyway. I’m more concerned about the baby being ok and healthy and everything. In a few weeks time I get to see the baby again, as I’m having a 32 week scan to check on growth. I can’t wait to see it! I love seeing its little nose especially – SB has such a cute nose – because it makes me wonder what it’ll look like when it comes out.

We’ve started making practical plans for when it’s born – not just for the important horrible things like housing and finance, but for nice bits like the christening (D and I aren’t particularly religious but hey, excuse for a party!) too. We booked baby’s first holiday last night, for September! So things are going pretty smoothly at the moment. Physically my health isn’t great – when your muscles have already split one way, feeling them split the other is SO painful, and the baby is able to kick right behind my scar now, which is so uncomfortable – but emotionally I’m feeling positive. I know there’ll be ups and downs, but I’m starting to see the light – and the baby – at the  end of the tunnel.

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