And I’ll give you a clue… it isn’t by finishing the arrow words.
I used today as a chance to exercise my creativity. You know those little pictures of celebrities they put in those arrow-word books? I may have defaced one or two or ten of them. Oops?
To be fair, I had to sit in an almost-empty waiting room for two hours. I took my knitting along and everything like the good little 1950s housewife I am, but giving Kelly Brook crossed eyes was just too alluring.
The test in itself was a bit of a non-event. Go in after fasting for 12 hours (not really difficult), have blood taken (a little trickier; make sure you sip water to keep you hydrated. Not sure they’d have gotten blood out of me if I hadn’t drank water). Drink the disgusting sugary drink (it had a weird, vaguely-orangey flavour but not in a nice way). Wait for two hours, entertaining yourself by people watching (if there are people around), playing Tetris on your phone or giving Katie Price a monobrow and five chins. Then go back in, have more blood taken, and then go and eat to your heart’s content (well not exactly, but the choice is there. You don’t have to fast anymore).
Bish bash bosh, job’s a good’un. They’ll let me know by the end of the week if anything does show up – obviously I’m really really hoping everything’s fine. I’d imagine it will be as I’ve not had any major issues that could be related to it but you never know I suppose. My blood pressure is really steady at the moment so I’m hoping I’ll be able to keep a complication-free pregnancy going and maybe, just maybe, be allowed to move around during labour. I don’t want them to strap me to the bed.
I’ve been thinking about the birth the past few days, now that it seems to be getting closer. I keep thinking about redrafting my birth plan and then thinking ‘Nah, it’s fine as it is’, but there’s a few things I do need to add in – things D and I have decided together. He’s going to cut the cord if he can, and if they’ll allow it, we’d also like it if he could be the one to tell me if it’s a boy or a girl. It’s weird, but I haven’t really thought about the birth all that much, let alone sat down and actively dreaded it. Even now, the bit I’m most scared about is what comes afterwards – taking it home and looking after it and all that.
I’m not being naive, I do realise that it’s got to come out and it’s going to be the single most painful experience I’ll ever have, and I can’t even imagine the pain I’ll be in… but right now, I wouldn’t say I’m scared. Nervous because it’s something new, and a little bit apprehensive about just how bad the pain is, but I’ve just reasoned that people wouldn’t ever do it again if it was too bad to bear. What worries me more is the lack of control. I’ve always been more of an “it’s going to happen, may as well accept it” girl when it comes to pain, but the thought of not knowing what’s going to happen and when makes me feel really uneasy. It’s one of the reasons I’ve considered asking to be induced – it’s not some kind of “Oh I need to plan my week around it” – the thought of waiting around, not knowing when it’ll come, whether I’ll go overdue, how long they’ll let me go, makes my head a bit spinny. I’m a control freak in general, and I know that when it comes to labour, there’s very little I am in control of – the baby’s coming out whether I like it or not. If I could have control over just one thing – and that would be knowing when it is coming – I think my anxiety levels would go right down. I just doubt my consultant would consider that good enough reason for an induction, but it’s my body. I’ll be giving birth in hospital anyway, as home birth isn’t an option. I just want to know when!
Whine moan whine moan etc etc etc. I’m feeling a bit rubbish after this morning (the test itself is fine, I just feel drained and poorly now) so I think it’s milk, cookies and bed for me! (I’m making the most of eating sugary stuff… y’know, just in case…)