Wanted: Some spare time, some dignity, and maybe some clean underwear…

I know, I know. It’s practice for when the baby’s here and we don’t have any spare time at all. But I’m trying to stock up while I can on things that I’d actually like to do, like video games and knitting (it’s an odd combination, I know. Oh yeah, I figured out how to knit properly! No more crying/threatening to stab D with knitting needles unless he actually deserves it). Instead it feels like half of my life is going on uni (I signed up for it, so all the blame there lies on me!) and antenatal appointments (… okay I technically signed up for that too, but there’s a big grey area that I don’t want to go into and basically okay yes it’s my fault but no it’s not and I’m pregnant so just nod and agree).

I had my midwife appointment today (all good, baby’s heartbeat was 160beats per minute, the little freak!). Tomorrow I have my glucose tolerance test, which I’m not looking forwards to – it’s not the needles (I’d be screwed if I was scared of blood tests!), it’s more the fear of fainting. I have nine minutes left until I have to start fasting (thankfully I’m allowed water, otherwise I’d be feeling really disgusting tomorrow morning), and the thought of two blood tests and a bottle of Lucozade (I’m not lucozade’s biggest fan) before I’m allowed anything else to eat isn’t nice. I’m just worried about fainting – I’ve had the light-headed, dizzy feeling too many times to be comfortable recently, and I’m worried this test will push me over the edge – which apparently means the test will have to be repeated at a later date. Um, no thanks. Then I’ve got my consultant appointment on the 21st, a midwife appointment on the 4th and then my Anti-D injection on the 14th. And from now on I have blood pressure checks every three weeks – becoming every two weeks from week 32, but the midwife said I may as well just book an appointment every two weeks. On the bright side, I also have great things to look forwards to – my mum and I are off to London at the start of February to see Wicked and have a ladies-wot-lunch day out together! I’m so looking forwards to it – it’s keeping me going through all this uni work!

Bye bye spare time! Having said that, I’m finding time to update this blog, so things can’t be too bad. Speaking of the blog, I was so happy to find out that Visit From The Stork listed me as one of their 5 young parent blogs they love – I didn’t stop smiling all last night! I’m so glad that a) people actually read these ramblings and usually ill-thought-out posts that spill from my brain onto the keyboard and end up on screen, and b) that people actually like reading them! I tend to write this to get my feelings out, with the secondary goal of giving people an idea of what it’s like to be in this situation – whether so that they understand a friend or family member in the situation, or they read it and realise they’re not alone, or even if they just like a bit of schadenfreude and reading about the baby kicking me so hard I pee myself gives you a cheap thrill. I’m dead chuffed that it seems to be working.

And don’t even think I’m joking about the baby kicking me that hard. It’s unpleasant. It’s a little bit painful. I feel like every shred of dignity I had has dissolved at my feet when I shuffled out of the bathroom and mumbled to D something about needing to get my pyjamas on. I know I joke about stabbing him with knitting needles, but he didn’t even laugh at me. I’m not sure I’d be able to do the same if the tables were turned (then again, D is independent and stubborn and probably wouldn’t tell me if it did happen to him, whereas I came out of the toilet almost in tears and told him straight away).

Remember – I did say it’s the reality of being nineteen and pregnant. Use the pull-out method, kids, if you absolutely love injections, countless appointments and losing all dignity, pride in your appearance and bladder control!

I could so write a new sex education curriculum. It would be painfully honest, but very successful.


You can now follow The Speed Bump on Twitter at @thespeedbumpm if dignity loss is really your thing, and maybe occasional serious posts that may be of interest to you. But mainly TMI updates about pelvic floors and cervix-kicking babies.


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