Pregnancy Realisation Of The Week: Placenta Is NOT A Type Of Bacon

A load of women on a website were talking about eating their placentas, grinding them up into tablets, turning them into teacosies etc (ok the last one was a lie). So I wondered what a placenta was. Naively, I assumed maybe it looked like bacon, if people were that dead keen on eating it.

So I typed placenta into Google.

It’s not bacon. Holy frigging shit it looks nothing like bacon. Why god why in the history of WHY WOULD YOU EAT THAT?

Oh wait, maybe it looks better cooked.

Nope. Nope. It still looks like… well I don’t even know what. D described it as a face-hugger alien. I’m still just in some kind of shock. I made sure I showed D the picture in case he faints when that comes out of me (holy shit that thing is coming out of me), he just looked at it and shrugged. I think I’m experiencing some kind of delayed reaction, but oh man those pictures are going to haunt me.

Some of the serving suggestions were interesting, and I found a recipe for spaghetti placentagnaise – oh and there was one all grilled and icky with a nice little side salad next to it; got to keep things healthy when you’re eating human body parts I guess – but it all still just looked like… insidey stuff that should stay insidey, because it definitely doesn’t look like it should be an outsidey part.

Who takes pictures of their placenta anyway? Why would you do that? “Aww take a picture of our cute little baby” “NEVER MIND THE BABY, I’M TAKING A PICTURE OF THIS GIANT PURPLE BLOB THING!”. It makes no sense.

So yeah. Pregnancy lesson of the week, folks. Placenta does NOT look like bacon. Just in case anyone was wondering.

(As an aside, I was doing the tags for this blog, and I wrote ‘misconception’. The irony and punniness of it made me giggle. I’ve never laughed at conception-related humour before. Screw doing the right thing and not holding your baby upside down; THIS is proof I’m ready to be a parent. Or reallllly hormonal and tired).


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