This is less about my speed bump and more about how I wish I could just spend the next however many months at home with Speed Bump (which will eventually become a baby, obviously) and D, without having to worry about university and all the stress and people who come with it. Don’t get me wrong – I have some amazing friends, and the majority of people on my course are lovely and I don’t think I would have survived the course so far without that wonderful group of people – but the minority seem to be overpowering the majority right now.
REASONS STAYING AT HOME WITH SB IS BETTER THAN GOING TO UNI
- SB doesn’t do things to intentionally embarrass me. She’s made me throw up in public a couple of times before, but I’m pretty sure she can’t help that. She definitely doesn’t try and humiliate me in front of lecturers and visitors who are high up in the aspect of the theatre industry I’m most interested in, making me look totally incapable of anything.
- SB doesn’t make me leave the house at 9am, not to return until 9pm. Rehearsals make me do that.
- SB doesn’t make me hate the whole entire world by making me so angry I just want to smash things and shout and cry at people.
- SB doesn’t make me swear. Other people make me swear, which incidentally is now teaching SB bad habits, because she can hear things now and I don’t want her first word to be “cock-womble” or “wank-badger”, both of which are words I’m using a lot lately (thanks, Dad).
- SB makes me eat fruit. This is healthy and good for me. Uni makes me eat unhealthy stuff, and then cry because I’ve eaten so much unhealthy stuff, so to make myself feel better, I eat more unhealthy stuff. Are we starting to get the picture of why uni is bad for me?
- Staying home all day would mean I could tidy my room. A tidy room is a tidy mind, so my head would be clearer. Uni gives me a messy bedroom and a messy head. I think you can see where I’m going with this.
Staying at home with SB all day (and D, for parts of the day) would be good for my health.
Going to uni every day and returning exhausted, emotionally drained and so furious with certain people is not good for my health.
However, this entire equation – and so, this entire blog post – is irrelevant, because I’d miss my friends far too much to make staying at home an option, and I’d actually like to pass second year – the thought of not graduating with my friends is motivation enough to push through the hard times.
So the solution is simple – I stay off uni, so do all my friends, and they move in with me.
Not entirely sure that’s going to work.
Back to the drawing board.