On Being The First Person On Earth To Ever Be Having A Baby…

… well, that seems to be the mindset of some people, at least.

Why is it, when some people get pregnant, the baby is ALL they talk about? You cease to be a person – you are just PREGNANT WOMAN, closely followed by being just MUM. What is the appeal in that? But similarly, apparently it’s a crime to be happy to be pregnant (and to have a blog like this, which is apparently smugity smugness because NO-ONE CARES DAMNIT)

  • For now, at least, I am still M. Not M The Pregnant Girl or M The Soon-To-Be Mum, I’m M. I’m still my own person – right?
  • I uploaded a picture of the scan to Facebook (or rather, I uploaded a picture of the tree we carved our names into two years ago, with “+ BUMP” added).  D uploaded the scan picture to Facebook. Because it’s something we’re proud of. I haven’t made the scan my profile or cover picture, which is apparently a crime, I promise!
  • If I look at a menu and see something I’m not allowed, I’ll just ignore it. I don’t feel the need to declare loudly what I can and can’t have – unless I’m offered something and can’t have it, in which case I will explain for politeness’ sake. But seriously, those people who list the whole menu – including things they wouldn’t normally eat because they don’t like the taste – and say “can’t eat that, can’t eat that, can’t eat that”. Seriously… who cares?
  • Yes, I have a pregnancy blog. Maybe to some that seems self-absorbed or thinking that everyone cares when they don’t, but I’ll be honest – I’m not fussed if people care or not. The main purpose of this blog is to give me something to look back on. I’m rubbish at keeping diaries, and being online is much easier. If people enjoy reading it, which people seem to – that’s great! (Also, I don’t think this blog quite meets the “smug” definition, because all I do is whine about being pregnant and make sarcastic comments about things).
  • I post occasional pregnancy-related things on Facebook. Sorry. I’m excited and it’s a part of my life. No excuse there. I’m not trying to be smug, I’m just a little bit of a Facebook addict.
  • Being smug about not drinking. I don’t miss not drinking, but it’s hardly like I’ve missed out on hangovers during the first trimester. I’ve felt quite at home with the other students because I’ve woken every morning with a bad taste in my mouth, nausea and vomiting and a pounding headache – I just didn’t get the good times the night before. There is NOTHING to be smug about with regards to not drinking anymore.
  • We are going to find out the sex. We will not be telling anyone outside of close family. Apparently this is a crime, because no-one cares, and if you know, you may as well tell the world. I’m not keeping it a secret to surprise anyone, because I don’t for a second think they care that much – I’m keeping it a secret so we don’t get bombarded with name suggestions and constantly being badgered to give it this name or that name. Also, my hormones are making me do crazy crazy things, and keeping it a secret is motivation not to go for the embarrassing “mummy’s little princess/prince” thing on Facebook.
  • Making plans for a completely natural birth and slagging off anyone who wants any pain relief/c-section. This, I can understand people being angry with. My entire birth plan – just a provisional one at the moment – literally says – and I quote –  “I’ll have gas and air, pethedine etc as soon as I’m allowed them. I’d like to avoid an epidural, but if I start hallucinating or crying to the point that it’s annoying you all, that’s fine too. Don’t mind a C-section if it’s for the best”. Why should people be judged for that?
  • Apparently it’s a crime to rub, talk to or have any contact in any way with your bump. Erm, no. Fuck off. It’s part of my body, I’ll touch it and talk to it if I want to.


The moral of this post is – let me get on with my pregnancy the way I want to. Don’t judge me for doing something you wouldn’t do in your pregnancy, but please let me at least be a little bit happy about it!


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