I had my first hormonal outburst in Week Nine. It was the first of many, as subsequently I’ve cried at just about everything including the Glee Cory Monteith memorial, the fact that my mum was going home yesterday, and the advert on ITV just because it has the song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship, which sets me off for some unknown reason. This one was probably the most embarrassing.
We went shopping in ASDA, a lovely normal shopping trip. We only needed a few bits and pieces – it wasn’t a big shop – but, as we got to the bakery aisle, I decided I wanted jam donuts. Just a random decision, but once it was made, it was set in stone – I REALLY wanted jam donuts.
So we get down to the donuts section, and they have apple donuts, custard donuts, chocolate donuts – but in the section for the jam donuts, there was just a little sign saying “sold out”.
The first emotion was anger – pure, unbridled anger, in fact. I turned to D and I think I may have actually scared him with my expression, if what he’s said since is anything to go by. I felt just about ready to storm into the bakery – even though it was around 9pm – and demand that they bake some more jam donuts. How dare they run out?!
Then the tears started. My head flopped onto D’s jumper and I started to cry about how it wasn’t fair, all I wanted was jam donuts. People walking past were staring, there was some muttering – I think it might be how a tantruming toddler feels. I certainly felt like one – standing in the middle of the bakery aisle, crying and stamping my feet because they’d run out of jam donuts.
Hormones are the craziest thing. I’ve been hormonal before – I’m a teenager, let’s face it – and they’re not nice, but I didn’t realise just HOW crazy they get during pregnancy. There was another incident where D said something one evening – just a silly little comment – and I started to laugh. Then I couldn’t stop laughing. I was crying with laughter – and then I was just crying. I was sobbing. I think the surrealness of it all made me cry even more, because I realised that I had very little control over what I was doing.
Apparently, this lasts throughout pregnancy – so only twenty seven more weeks of this to go!